


What if I'm someone you won't talk about?

by ChoniRMS



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017), Riverdale (TV 2017) RPF
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Cheating, Cheryl Blossom Deserves Better, Cheryl Blossom Needs a Hug, Cheryl goes to prison, Choni endgame, Drama & Romance, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gang Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Jealousy, Lost Love, Love Triangles, Love/Hate, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, Prison, Riverdale but it's just fan theories, Sad Cheryl Blossom, Slow Burn, Smut, Social Anxiety, Toni Topaz Needs a Hug, choni
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:28:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28609068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChoniRMS/pseuds/ChoniRMS
Summary: If this is a movie, then this is the epilogue, and it won't end with a happy ending. But many years from now on, Toni will thank Cheryl for this. For now, she'll hate her.While Cheryl will just look back at every day in her life up until now and thank God she had the opportunity to cross paths with Toni Topaz, short as it was, those memories made in those afternoons basked in sunlight in walls of Thistlehouse, or the kisses under the neon signs late at night will give her strength. And who knows?Twelve years might not be enough to erase history.OrAfter spending 7 years in prison, for the murder of Bedford Blossom, Cheryl Blossom returns to Riverdale, now part of a gang. A new person, one that not even Toni Topaz thinks she’ll ever be able to love again.
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Betty Cooper, Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones, Cheryl Blossom/Original Female Character(s), Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz, Fangs Fogarty/Kevin Keller, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Toni Topaz/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 27
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, there. Got a week vacation from work, spend way to much time on my phone and came across this tweet/theory that somehow Cheryl Blossom goes to jail in Toni's place when they find out about what happened to her uncle.
> 
> It's been two weeks and I still can't stop thinking about that, so here's how this fic came to be.
> 
> I'll be focusing on choni, so even tho all couples will be here, I won't go into much detail about it.

This cell was empty as the girl Cheryl Blossom is slowly becoming. She would sit in that bunk bed for hours, days maybe, not moving, the dripping of the fountain letting her know that she's still there, that inside there's still a beating heart, but that's all there is to it. Her mind long gone, and it's been, what, two weeks?

It's hard to tell, she's only allowed to leave when it's time to eat, whatever might be that brown mush they set in her plastic plate, after that is back in her cage. But this bird doesn't sing, it just stands there as time goes by, with no windows inside it's hard to tell nights and days apart, just this morning - Cheryl thinks it was morning - she almost forgot her name, this place will do that to you if you allow it, and for Cheryl, it didn't even have to ask for permission. 

She remembers how they told her to be careful in here, how anyone will kill her if it meant an easier stay, how the concrete palace itself could turn into a trap right before her eyes. No one told her about time, that's the bogeyman in here. It's crazy what one's mind will come up with when there's nothing but time, slow torture that takes hold of the body. Time is incredibly lonely, in this cell all by herself, she'll find no peace, there won't be a lovers kiss, a brother's hug, and friend's smile, she won't hear that raspy voice whispering that everything will turn out alright in the dead of night when the thunders come crashing and the wind blows like an angry beast from above. Time plays with the mind, in the darkness the walls have faces in them, familiar and stranger all stare into the abyss of Cheryl's soul, none offer comfort, it's cold and she's all alone. Suddenly she's a little girl crying for her mommy and daddy, they didn't come back then, but they do now, and it's their laugher that echoes through this room, it's loud and it's cruel, it pierces her ears like a dagger through the flesh, the tears burn paths down her face, so often that it's turning into fresh scars.

Then it's over, the guards open the doors and it's time for the bird to be set free, but they keep it in chains, looking at the endless sky with feet bound to the concrete floor. 

They let her out earlier today, she knows what it means, she tries to fight it but she's so weak, and her futile attempts are nothing compared to the hands that grasp each one of her arms. 

Walking through these corridors, Cheryl could easily be mistaken as nothing but a ghost, her feet dragging themselves, barely leaving the ground, eyes downcast not in shame but pain, it's been so long since she saw any light, the noise makes her dizzy, there's a million voices speaking in all directions, all she hears is a faint hum, nothing like the song her lover would sing, this one is hollow. Whereas Toni's held hope and promise of a future together, this one is the last symphony that warns Cheryl what her life has become, what the next twelve years hold in store for her, and not for the first time in her life, Cheryl Blossom longs for Sweetwater River. How nice the freezing water would feel right now, even those needles piercing through her whole body are kinder than whatever life this might be.

It grows brighter, the voices are soon replaced by the sounds of doors being open automatically, they're getting close now. Because God hadn't been cruel enough with Cheryl Blossom already, no, now she had to sit down and look her in the eyes, the girl she saved. That's the only solace this place offers her, to know that Toni Topaz will never have to go through this, while Cheryl's the one at home in the comfort of her four-poster bed. Somewhat that outcome seems worst than anything this prison has done to her yet.

When Cheryl arrives at the visiting room, Toni's standing up already, even from far away the redhead can catch a glimpse of her whole body shaking. If a stranger were to look at both of them now, it would be hard to tell who's in prison and who's not. The love of Cheryl's life is looking so small amongst all these people, she doesn't belong here with criminals surrounding her. The same way Cheryl doesn't deserve someone to look at her the way Toni is, with so much ugliness around them the pink-haired girl's eyes - which shine with unshed tears - hold nothing but wonder, as if the world was black and white and Cheryl was all the colors together, and she was now only seeing them for the first time. She looks at Cheryl like she was worthy of looking at that way, and it's hard not to face away when she knows the truth couldn't be any more far off.

On shaky legs, she makes her way towards Toni, unable to stall any longer. She feels as if she's going to be sick at any moment now, and perhaps if that happens then she'll have a way out. The coward's way, but Toni deserves so much than that, she deserves everything Cheryl denied her for years.

"I'm...I'm so sorry, Cher..." It's the first thing Toni says to her, words struggling to leave her mouth, that's how bad the shaking is.

Cheryl wants to scream at her, bang her fists on the table and say she's wrong. She didn't do this, it was Cheryl's own stupidity and recklessness that brought them here. There was no way in hell Cheryl would ever allow Toni to be here for something she did not do. Toni killed Bedford Blossom, but it was the chain of events that Cheryl start that set in motion everything that has happened ever since. She was the one who pushed the first domino piece.

But she cannot speak, the only thing she can offer to Toni is a small shake of her head.

"What have they done to you..." Toni whispers more to herself than anything, her hands slowly and carefully caressing Cheryl's features, almost afraid that the slightest of forces might make her crack perhaps if for the best.

"I'm okay."

"It should be me, Cher...you don't...you don't deserve it," Toni's voice is unrecognizable, hoarse from crying for days on end.

And it's that sight that makes Cheryl understand that this she's about to do is the right choice. It might be the hardest thing she's ever done in her whole life, but it's also the only good one she ever did.

She opens her mouth to speak, but the room is crowded, drowning any sound she was about to make. With nothing but time Cheryl thought so much about what to say, she had every syllable memorized to a tee, but nothing was coming out. 

What she couldn't say, her eyes did and Toni who had become a part of Cheryl knew exactly what they told. She too seemed unable to speak, but everything in her pleaded no, and if she could she would even have dropped to her knees.

"Please..." She sobs, the tears never-ending, "don't... don't leave. I-I can't...I can't do this without you," everyone looks at her, a mixture of sadness and adoration on their features. They all must be thinking of how tragic this is, fit for a movie.

"I still remember when I first met you," Cheryl speaks, the longest she has in days, "you were free, you were confident, and I wanted that, you. And then I...I took all the best parts of you and I ruined them, I turned you into my shadow, I made you do terrible things, and the worst part is I called it love," she pauses for a second, taking a deep breath, coming to terms with what'll happen, all the while Toni's breaking apart, "I'm a mons-"

"You're lying to yourself Cheryl, that's bullshit and you know it!"

"It's not, Toni, I don't think I've ever been this honest in my whole life."

"They told me you were going to do this, push me away," Cheryl wonders who _they_ are, she wonders what the outside world thinks of her now, "hey, it's not too late for us, remember?" Toni asks, and Cheryl nods. The more she speaks the more reason Cheryl has to do this.

"When was the last time you did something that was for you and only you?" Cheryl asks this is her last card. 

Toni doesn't even entertain that idea, her face turning for the window gives her away, however.

"Everyone is right, I am a loveless monster. I was able to turn you, you out of all people into something broken just like me. Who does that, Toni!?"

"I love you, I'm not giving up on you. I'll be here every week rain or shine, no matter if you show up or not. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know," Cheryl offers her a small smile, getting a frown in return. It's time, "I'll be leaving for South Carolina in four weeks."

If this is a movie, then this is the epilogue, and it won't end with a happy ending, no one will ride a horse towards the sunset. But many years from now on, Toni will thank Cheryl for this. For now, she'll hate her.

While Cheryl will just look back at every day in her life up until now and thank God she had the opportunity to cross paths with Toni Topaz, short as it was, those memories made in those afternoons basked in sunlight in walls of Thistlehouse, or the kisses under the neon signs late at night will give her strength. And who knows?

Twelve years might not be enough to erase history.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An insight on what Cheryl's going trough in prison. And then flash forward 6 years and we're back in the town with pep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I had one plan going with this fic, but changed it last minute. Probably ruined the whole thing, but please stick around.
> 
> Also, Toni has a kid, Archie did go to the naval academy, there's none of that Hiram drama, and all couples are together, yay.

6 years ago

"Blossom, get up. The warden wants to see you," one of the guards announces from the outside. It's hardly six o'clock yet, the buzzers haven't even rung.

Cheryl has no trouble hearing them, though, if she's being honest she hasn't slept since yesterday.

And here she was assuming that this was going to be another day just like all others. The buzzer would ring, she would get up, brush her teeth, head to the cafeteria to have her breakfast (if you can even call it that) and head to the library for the rest of the day, the only place where no one ever goes, and Cheryl can just exist in peace. 

It's been always like that ever since she got here in South Carolina over a year ago. If she thought the penitentiary in New York was bad she had another thing coming the moment she set foot in this place. In here was everyone for themselves, most of the guards were either bought or thrived in seeing so much chaos, gangs at every corner she looked, drugs, you name it. This place even managed to make the Southside look like an oasis. The first months were rough, this wasn't high school anymore and in here Cheryl didn't rule supreme as the hbic, by the contrary, she soon became an easy target, busted lips and broken ribs quickly were part of the routine. This was hell on earth and Cheryl was bound for the next twelve years.

But with time she learned how to make herself small, even smaller than what she already was, she laid low and dare never to look up, because here a single glance was enough to get hit. And then the library came, the only area that most criminals didn't go, most probably didn't know existed inside the prison, there were hardly ever any guards. As the months went by that small room with the old books and yellowish pages turned into Cheryl's refuge, after that the days were easier to endure.

And if the nights were harder and plagued by nightmares, Cheryl's only comfort was knowing that it was her in this place and not Toni. Because even though Toni Topaz was stronger and braver than Cheryl could ever hope to be, Toni was also reckless, and that temper of hers always got the best, the pink-haired girl wouldn't simply sit there and withstand all the abuse Cheryl has, she wouldn't stay quiet, no, Toni would've fought back but in here she would be alone and without the Serpents to back her she would one way or another get herself killed.

So, as bad as it is, and Cheryl's sure that it can only get worst, all of it is a small price to pay if it gets to keep her Toni alive in Riverdale, in the comfort of friends, sitting at a booth at Pops.

* * *

After Cheryl got up and dressed, she was being led to the warden's office despite the early hours in the morning. She knows what's going on, and that's why she's stalling, dragging her feet, buying time for the inevitable.

Yesterday, Cheryl sat at her table at the library, the same as always. Reading " _The Alchemist_ ", one of the few good books they had to offer. She was alone, as she often is, just sitting there trying to get lost in those pages, the closest to escape that she'll ever get. It was just a day like all others, it seemed at least until she heard it. Two whispered voices, and even as quiet as they were, Cheryl just knew they weren't discussing books. In the end, her curiosity won against her better judgment, getting up and wandering to one of the corridors, she saw it, two women close to one another, in any other occasion they would even look like lovers, but the tears in the eyes of one of them, the pleading in her voice proved it wrong. 

Having grown up in a town like Riverdale, coming from a family like the Blossom themselves, and witnessing her uncle's death and so many others, still couldn't have prepared Cheryl for the sight of the woman falling on the ground, clutching her stomach in a vain attempt to stop the bleeding, and her eyes, at that moment Cheryl could see it all, what she was, what she could've been, and most importantly what she wanted to be, and it all ended as soon as her eyes closed, and the last whisper was taken. 

She was so shocked, frozen in a panic that she barely heard it, the other woman, with the tattoo on her neck. Looking straight at her, pushing a finger against her lips, a promise of what would happen if Cheryl spoke.

And now they wanted to hear it from her. Why else would the warden have called her this early?

Before she could stop it, Cheryl was at his office. One of the guards knocked on the door and she was being pushed inside, alone because without a single word warden Rhodes had dismissed the two men who accompanied Cheryl.

She just stood there, unsure of what to do, the man who kept them all in line was as intimating as he looked, no one dare cross him, and here was Cheryl about to lie in his face. 

"Miss Blossom, take a seat. I insist," he says, gesturing for the chair in front of him.

He looks as if he has been up for hours, his grey hair slicked back, still wet, and his black eyes that match his soul are sharp and alert, Cheryl wonders if a man like him even gets to sleep. 

"You know why you're here?" He asks in a monotone voice, in all this time Cheryl doesn't think he ever spoke any different.

The same goes for his face, he always looks the same, as if God only graced him with two facial expressions, either bored or irritated. Today's the first, but her next answers can change it.

"The library?" Cheryl asks. She likes to play dumb, a shield, and most people seem to genuinely believe that Cheryl's a simple girl with not much to say.

"Yes, a heinous act. One that can be punished if you help us."

There it is.

"I didn't see anything."

"The guards tell me otherwise." He's not looking bored anymore, he caught Cheryl in her own game. "You were next to the body, and you are known for spending all your time there."

"I didn't do anything, either," she says in a small voice, her stare focused on her lap. He's trying to frighten her, there's no way they can confirm she did it. She had no reason to.

"We know, we have our suspicions already, but we can't do anything without proof."

"Watch the surveillance footage."

"The system is down in the library."

Son of a bitch, she thinks. This isn't about bringing someone to justice, warden Rhodes has ulterior motives, as always.

"I see, so you want me to risk my life to save your ass," before Cheryl can't stop, she said it. Her true self coming out, she tried so hard to keep it hidden to no avail, "those cameras should've been fixed long ago." She tries again, sounding apologetic.

He eyes her strangely for a second but doesn't mention her sudden outburst. And Cheryl can swear she saw a small smile forming on his lips.

"Four years," he says, pausing to let Cheryl think about it, she already knows what it means, "we'll take four years out of your sentence, Cheryl. You're an example of what all prisoners should be, if you keep it that way you'll be out before you even know it. Take this opportunity, use it." Sweet talk it's what it is. She has no doubt he'll keep his word, but at what cost?

The woman who committed murder isn't alone.

"They'll hurt me," she whispers, a few tears shedding as she does so, and it's not all a part of an act. Cheryl's truly afraid but torn nonetheless.

Four years can make a significant difference, especially here. Even more out there in the real world.

"Whoever did this will be in solitary before they can even lay eyes on you. And we'll protect you."

She doesn't reply, her mind going off with so many different scenarios, lastly, she thinks about the woman in the library, the look on her face, she didn't want to die, she thought that she wouldn't, she had hope. She had people who loved her outside, who now mourn a daughter, a mother perhaps, a friend. Does Cheryl want to end that way?

"We just need a name."

But then again, it's four years, meaning that she'll be out in seven maybe even less if she continues with the good behavior and succeeds in her parole hearings. Maybe she can be out in a few years, and then perhaps she can go back to Riverdale, go on her knees and beg Toni for forgiveness, she'll be able to hold her in her arms and tell her that Cheryl regretted her decision as soon as she got on that bus, that she read every letter she sent and keeps sending, that those words kept her alive, she'll be able to say I love you until the end of her days. 

_I'm not going anywhere_. Toni had promised once, and the part of Cheryl that life hasn't managed to break yet, the one that holds hope and love wants so hard to believe in that.

"I don't know her name, but I saw who did it."

* * *

The following morning, it was with dread that Cheryl stepped towards the cafeteria. Each step sent her into a trembling fit, tears slowing rolling down her face. By now it was no secret what she had done, warden Rhodes was true to his word, the woman was sent to solitary before she could even lay eyes on Cheryl, waiting her days for another trial, but that didn't mean the nightmare was over. As she made her way to the cafeteria she could hear the whispers of many, some even spat on the floor, disgust plain to see in their faces. 

A dead woman walking, indeed.

But the nightmare truly began once Cheryl sat on the furthest table, the shaking so bad that she almost flipped the tray. She had begged to eat in her room, to stay there for a few days until the dust had settled, if it ever would, but was refused with the promise that there would be guards watching over her, which seemed to be true for a while, there were eight of them at least, but eight weren't enough to stop someone from sitting next to her. Dark hair, dark eyes, and darker soul towered over Cheryl, the symbol tattooed on her neck brought her back to that day. Maybe this was the day she would die, and then all of this would have been for nothing. She wondered if Toni would mourn for her, if a memorial would be held.

"You had to talk, didn't you?" She whispers against Cheryl's ears, her breath almost making her gag in the spot, the raspy voice so familiar and yet colder than Cheryl has ever heard.

"I'm... I'm sorry," she pathetically whispers, feeling her legs giving up, terror taking hold of her.

The room is spinning, she desperately searches for a guard, anyone at this point, but they all seem distracted or pretending to be. Honestly, who would lift a finger for Cheryl Blossom, the quiet little mouse that repeats what she's told.

What she would give for Toni, her Toni would keep her safe, give her own life if need be.

"I'll give you something to be sorry about, Blossom," and with that Cheryl felt it, the cold and sharp kiss of a blade against her skin, slowly dragging against her.

So slow, like this strange woman was feeling pleasure in Cheryl's pain, asking her to suffer as much as she possibly could.

She whimpers, all that she can do, no words come out, and again the blade moves in.

This is it, she dies now.

Toni, she says to herself. It'll always be her.

"Push that knife one more inch, and I'll make sure your girl scouts spend the next week scrapping your blood from this floor."

With a strength Cheryl didn't even know she possessed, she looks up and no picture has ever been more comforting to her. The same woman who was slowly stabbing her seconds ago is now frozen in fear, a blade against her armpit, a guardian angel wielding it. 

And as soon as it began, it's over. She's gone, leaving Cheryl in pain but oh so relieved. She made it, she was saved. It makes her angry that she keeps needing saving after all these years, but she's grateful nonetheless.

"Come with me, let's fix you up," the same woman, a girl really, who saved her is now extending her hand to her, and Cheryl quickly takes it. Wanting nothing more than to be out of here.

They walk in silence, Cheryl doesn't know why, but at this point she'll follow this saving grace of a woman anywhere she takes her, call her a fool for doing so.

She notices there's a slight limp in her step, and if she recalls a subtle lisp on her speech, not that it stopped her from looking intimating. Cheryl chooses to focus on her tattoos, which extend from her neck until her knuckles, ranging from intricate and realistic pieces to low-quality prison tattoos, names, and faces, numbers, and symbols that tell a story Cheryl can't decipher.

"We're here," she speaks for the first time since leaving the cafeteria, gesturing Cheryl to what it looks like a storage room.

They get inside boxes and more boxes as far as the eye can see, some brooms, mops, and cleaning products. Prisoners can't certainly be allowed in here, but Cheryl just wants to hide, so she doesn't question it. She sits in the sturdiest box she finds, watching as the other searches the room for something.

It's a few minutes before their eyes meet again, it reminds Cheryl of Fall days back in Riverdale, "take off the shirt."

Cheryl's taken aback, just looking at her, mouth hanging open.

"Well, I need to clean that wound, don't I?" She says again, this time lifting the first aid kit in her hands. Cheryl hadn't even noticed it.

"Right, sorry," Cheryl then proceeds on unzipping her orange jumpsuit until it falls on her waist, and she's left with her white tee, stopping upon realizing what she's about to do, her cheeks quickly heat up, her face matching her hair. It's just like cheer practice she tries to convince herself, it doesn't help. 

Sensing her discomfort, her newest friend, (it seems) sighs, "Please? I need to see that wound," there's no impatience in her voice, just genuine concern.

And Cheryl won't lie, it's hurting bad, there's a spot of blood in her shirt, and it might not be life-threatening, but the redhead wants to get patched up as best as she can. Taking a deep breath, she finally takes off the shirt, standing in a beige bra. She feels so vulnerable, but there's no malice or lust on the face in front of her, that calms her down.

The girl, Cheryl should ask her name, sits down, opens the box, and starts dabbing a cotton ball with alcohol, she does warn her that it might hurt a bit, Cheryl still whimpers, and her movements immediately become gentler, as if Cheryl was made of glass and would break at any point.

"A fellow gang member, I see," she says mostly to herself, curiously eyeing the small Serpent tattoo on Cheryl's lower stomach. From a night where she and Toni drank too much, it was only the next morning when Cheryl woke up that she even noticed it was there. Involuntary she smiles at the memory.

_Make me yours_ , see remembers saying that same night.

"Hardly," Cheryl scoffs, she was never truly a Serpent, never had what it took, prison taught her that much, "my girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, was part of one so I joined."

"You joined a gang to impress a girl. That's one way to do it," she could see a smile forming on her plump lips, a little bit of mischief hidden some might say.

She was pretty Cheryl would give her that. Her hair reminded her of her dear friend Midge, her skin of Veronica, and her skill off Betty. She swore that was maybe even something of Toni in her smile.

"It wasn't like that," she finally says, pretending to be offended. This is the first time since being here that Cheryl is being Cheryl, without fear.

"Whatever you say, mami."

They don't say more after that, settling into a comfortable silence. She's taking her time cleaning the wound and around it.

Cheryl breaks it, "I got us kicked out shortly after."

"Aren't you full of surprises?" The girl looks up, and for some unknown reason, Cheryl blushes.

The fan must be broken.

"It looks like this snitch won't be needing stitches after all," she says, clapping her hands and admiring her work. Cheryl looks down, watching her finally applying a bandage on top of her wound.

"Why are you doing this?" Cheryl had to ask, no one has shown her any kindness in all this time. It's all about survival and getting involved, worst, helping a snitch won't boost one's reputation.

What does she have to gain from this?

"Huh?"

"You said it yourself, I'm a snitch. And if my short stay in a gang proved me something, is that I'm not worth the help," Cheryl's self-esteem took a blow, yes, but it's no lie what she said. She's not worth all this trouble, anyway, she brought this all upon herself.

"Rats are a despicable kind, it's a fact, but I understand why you did it," suddenly there's a hand on hers, a thumb rubbing circles on her palm, tanned skin against a pale one, one face showing shame, the other admiration," plus, you did us a favor anyway.

"Then my death won't be in vain."

"Don't say that shit."

"They won't ever let me go!" Cheryl immediately regrets raising her voice, mainly because it must have pushed her way, her hand retreats, and Cheryl won't admit it but the gesture hurt her.

She's so starved for affection, for someone to care.

"No, they won't, but," and as she spoke, the girl took an old bandana that was wrapped in her wrist, and tied it in Cheryl's, " this will help, a repellent of sorts."

"I don't wanna be part of a gang. No offense." Cheryl's experience in one was more than enough to last a lifetime.

"Really? You haven't even heard about our extracurricular activities," it was so sudden, such a different contrast from the direction the conversation was taking that Cheryl had no other choice than to burst out laughing, the sound almost forgotten to her ears. 

She missed it. 

"Next time, I fear," she says, still smiling, giggling even.

"It's okay. This," she gestures at the bandana now in Cheryl's wrist," it won't make you one of us, but it lets them know we got your back."

Could it be? Could someone still be this kind in this hell where kindness is the first to go?

"Thank you, that's..."

"It's time you leave that library, pretty girl. I...we will protect you."

"I don't even know your name," Cheryl whispers, almost inaudible, the last phrase echoing through her.

Protect, unlike the wardens, she believes in this promise.

"Delilah."

"Like the song?"

"God, you sound like my high school bullies all over again," her lisp seems to get worst whenever she's smiling, or excited. Cheryl finds it quite endearing.

Was that the reason she was bullied in the first place? Or was that just a joke?

Someday, Cheryl will ask her about it. It seems this won't be the last time they'll talk.

"I'm Cheryl, by the way," she replies to Delilah, extending her hand, which she shakes firmly.

"It was nice meeting you, Cheryl, I should get going now."

Delilah then gets up, wincing a little as she does so, gathers everything, some things going on the trash can nearby, others in the kit, after that she puts it back where it was, waiting for its next patient, she also places a bottle of Tylenol next to Cheryl. They go back to silence, like the laughs and jokes never happened, it's odd but not unsettling, maybe this is new for them, maybe it's been so long that both forgot how it feels to feel normal, to have their guard down.

Delilah heads for the door, sensing that Cheryl maybe wants to stay here for a few minutes more, she stands on the doorsill, before turning around, "don't become a stranger."

"Of course not, you still haven't told me what's it like in New York City."

And for the first time in a year Cheryl sees the brightest smile forming on someone's lips, what she doesn't realize, is that hers is even bigger.

* * *

Later that night, as Cheryl lays on her bed, randomly tracing patterns on the old bandana, she curses herself for her actions today. It feels like she's backstabbing Toni, herself even. Not because it happened, but because Cheryl can't wait for it to happen again, because she doesn't want to become a stranger to Delilah, she wants to ask her about her tattoos, wants to hear the stories behind them, funny ones mostly, she wants to know if her leg hurts and how it happened, or what's like back home, her real home, wherever it is, it goes beyond protection. 

But it's not fair, not when Toni still writes every week, she's waiting for her, every letter ends with that promise. Cheryl can't afford to let her loneliness, the weakest part of her jeopardize it all. 

She takes off the bandana, not caring about the consequences, and begs to forget all about Delilah. It just cannot be, it's the wrong place, the wrong time. It's not Toni.

* * *

* * *

Present-day.

How the hell is that goddamn phone still ringing?!

Toni threw the bastard against the wall, hours ago, the thing should be broken. Or better, Fangs should stop before Toni storms off this office and kicks his ass.

She knows it's probably important, otherwise, he wouldn't be calling this many times, and she won't lie, it has left her on edge all day now, it's some Serpent business, which is important, but this case she's currently working in takes the cake too. Jake, eight years old, autistic, orphaned at birth, has been in almost twenty foster homes and foster care institutions all of his life, poor thing. And now Toni has to find yet another place for him, one where he can finally be happy, one where people will care for him. The hardest part of this job is knowing that not all people's intentions are pure, that some do it for a check, she knows it because she's seen it all of her life in the Southside, it was the one reason why she chose to become a social worker. And no matter how many times she does it, it never gets easier.

And then, if that wasn't enough, she took upon herself to lead the Serpents, trying her earnest to clean up their reputation, make that jacket on their back mean something again, help those who can't help themselves, give shelter for who doesn't have one, it wasn't easy, it isn't easy. Between working up to ten hours a day in this office, and then returning to the Wyrm to check upon her brothers and sisters, to delegate, make sure peace holds up, Toni Topaz is lucky if she gets to sleep for more than four hours a night. 

Not that she's complaining, much. This work ethic, this need to never stop saved her all those years ago, she thinks that if she were to slow down now, all of the demons she slayed would come back, and the days of the past would become real again.

It might seem that Toni has all of her shit put together now, she has her own place in the Northside, a car, a good credit, and friends and family who she loves dearly, but it wasn't always like that. There are only a few witnesses, but even they will say that they once feared for Toni's life.

That first year after Cheryl was transferred to South Carolina, - a choice Toni will never understand or accept until this day, - things were dark, real dark. She never ended up going to Highsmith College, it just didn't feel right that she got to experience the best years of her life, go to parties and have fun while Cheryl was serving twelve years miles away, going through unimaginable things, for a crime she didn't even commit, Toni was the murderer, she didn't deserve anything other than pain. She did stay in Thistlehouse for a couple of months, Nana Rose that angel never once kicked her out, but soon too sleeping on that four-poster bed felt like a betrayal to Cheryl who was sleeping in a small cell, probably with someone else who hurt her, so she packed a bag and left, but going to the trailer park wasn't an option, her grandparents never quite forgave her for dating Cheryl, and couch surfing turned into doors closing on her face in weeks, Toni wasn't exactly friendly or easy back then.

They didn't even get to say goodbye, Cheryl tricked her saying that the bus left at ten in the morning, and when Toni arrived she learned it had left hours ago. It would be hard to see Cheryl every week handcuffed, unable to comfort her, but damn it, it would've been something. Instead, she left as far she could, leaving Toni with guilt, with stares and whispers of how much of a coward she was, she had plenty of time to come clean, she could've avoided all that but never did. What kind of person does that?

Looking in the mirror was unbearable, living with herself torture, so bars, cheap booze, and random girls became all she knew, they weren't Cheryl, but they were someone who made the nights less lonely, sleeping meaning relieving that evening the cops came all over again, so Toni avoided it as much as she could, and when liquor and hookups lost their ability to make her forget, Toni fell into the heavy shit, the shivers that even now haunt her are proof of it.

All of them, friends and family, tried everything, interventions, tough love, and all that shit, and of course, Toni would cry and apologize only to start all over as soon as the sky turned dark, except for Fridays, Fridays she would write to Cheryl, and with every letter that wasn't returned, Toni kept digging her grave further and further.

A bad trip and a stay in the hospital changed her life. Waking up in a hospital bed, all alone, only to find her friends worried sick in the waiting room, not knowing if Cheryl was aware or not, made Toni see things in a way that her grief, her hurt didn't let her for months. Cheryl sacrificed herself, the girl who grew up believing she was loveless and deviant gave Toni the biggest love proof anyone ever could, Cheryl stopped her whole life so she could have a chance at one, and that was how Toni had decided to spend it, high as a kite on strangers beds, shutting everyone away, only to find herself here.

She almost died, God knows she wished so at one point, but she was given another shot, and this time, she would make Cheryl proud, and in twelve years maybe less, they could begin again, and one day before that Toni would gather the courage to go on a plane and see her, it wasn't the last of them.

As soon as she left the hospital, she sought treatment, went back to Thistlehouse, and joined Riverdale's community college where she earned her diploma and soon enough started working as a social worker, three years ago she finally became Serpent Queen, at that point, it was only a formality given that she was leading them for years already.

Life's good now, but Cheryl isn't part of it anymore. It pains her to this day, but not as much as before, time did its trick, work made it easier to endure, and that little angel that now is part of Toni's all life made her survive. There was never a breakup, honestly, the last time they spoke was the day Toni learned from Cheryl she was leaving for South Carolina. I guess you could say they didn't stand the test of time, maybe it was the distance, the circumstances that prevented Toni from being more present, and all those letters that never came, the phone calls that were never answered. Maybe it wasn't meant to be, and Toni thinks it's okay. 

She's grateful for Cheryl, knows she's lucky to have loved someone the way she loved the redhead and to have received it too. Knows that their story, as short as it was, was beautiful and as Cheryl once said, Toni will treasure those memories always, and one day she'll tell her grandkids all about Cheryl Blossom, and if fate is kind, they might even meet again. But a part of her thinks Cheryl won't return to Riverdale. She got out a year ago, her lawyer said so. Betty even organized a welcome party at Pop's, hoping that it would be the first place Cheryl would come, but they spent the night looking at the door, and by morning none said it out loud, but everyone felt it was the end of it. Toni cried herself to sleep, but like everything in her life, this wasn't about her anymore, she had to be strong. She had to learn how to live without Cheryl.

* * *

She's finally out of the office, bound to come back only Monday morning, and as much as Toni would love to go home, have herself a nice bubble bath and cuddle with her baby for the rest of the night, she knows it's time to finally unlock her phone and see what's all the fuss about. Even if it's something extremely serious, she knows Fangs and Pea would've got it covered, and worst-case scenario they would send someone to her office as planned. Fangs has a thing for blowing situations out of proportion, so no, Toni isn't fretting much about it. She unlocks her phone and as expected, dozens of unanswered phone calls and many more text messages. It looks like she has to head to the Wyrm.

She sends Kate a text, saying she's going to be home late, again, and the reply is almost immediate. It's okay, and honestly, that girl is a lifesaver.

Getting inside her car, the first thing Toni looks at is the little photo that hangs on the rearview mirror, get home safe, mommy. I need you, says the inscription in the back. A gift from Tommy for her twenty-fifth birthday, well, from his godparents at least. That's right, Toni Topaz has the cutest eleven-month-old baby at home. She's a mother, something she always knew she wanted to be, yet something that happened in ways she never predicted.

A few years after Cheryl's incarceration, Veronica and Betty tried to set her up on all kinds of dates, with Toni refusing most of them, and joining some because it was a double date or something like that. But she never wanted to date, she wasn't looking for it, and that's when it happened. Leroy Spencer, one of Archie's friends from the naval academy, who was in town for a visit but somehow got lost and found himself at the White Wyrm, and even though Toni was mostly into girls, they hit off from the get-go, the chemistry was good, although it wasn't serious, she cared for him but it wasn't love, and certainly not the one. Anyway they dated for a few months until he went back to his ship, Toni found out she was pregnant and the rest is history as they say. She's grateful for the fact that Leroy, despite being away is a good father, and gave Tommy his name.

She loves that kid, he's the reason why life becomes bearable. Truth is, only after giving birth and seeing that baby wrapped in her arms,- a miniature version of her, safe for his father's eyes -, that Toni started living, for the first time in all those years putting on a smile wasn't a chore, and crying over a certain redhead wasn't part of the habit. He's her everything, Toni's biggest regret is that she can't be with him as much as she wishes . But that's about to change, she's not the only one capable enough of ruling the Serpents, she'll always be one, it's part of her, but that's no longer her legacy, her biggest accomplishment, Tommy is. And for that little kid, Toni's willing to step down from the Serpents.

* * *

Arriving the Southside, she sees nothing unusual, and the ride here was pretty quiet too, the town wasn't on fire and no ghoulies to be seen and inside the White Wyrm was looking like any other night. Music playing, Serpents drinking, talking, shooting darts and playing pool, hell, even Fangs who stirred all of it seemed pretty okay himself. Maybe she could go home after all.

As she made her way through the crowd, everyone nodded at her, a sign of respect, something Toni knew how to command even as petite as she was. The moment she sat on the bar a drink was placed in front of her, a bellini, force of habit. She looks up at Fangs, glaring at him, motioning him to come forward, then gesturing another Serpent to turn off the music, by now all eyes are on her.

"Why don't you share the reason you call all of us here, Fangs?" Her tone is serious. She's not pissed at him, could never be, but it's fun to mess with him for a bit. 

He takes a few steps and clears his throat, "there's a new gang in town."

"Who are they?" Birdie asks from behind the bar.

That causes many to speak, saying that it was the Ghoulies, a few other gangs from New York, and even Hiram's men.

"I don't know," Fangs continues, or at least tries over the noise, "my source tells me they follow a nomadic lifestyle, and currently ride in Greendale."

That Toni didn't expect. Fang's source, an ex-boyfriend who lives back in Greendale, is hardly ever mistaken. She believes it, but her mind simply can't guess who it might be, or what their intentions are 

"Should we be concerned?" She asks the question that's in everyone's minds. They're ready for the worst of outcomes, but this town is finally getting back to the old glory days, the kids are growing knowing peace, Toni will do anything to keep it that way. 

"He tells me that they keep mostly to themselves," her right-hand man replies, "I mean, they go to bars, get rowdy and all that but haven't done any harm, yet."

Yet, there's a lot that can happen though.

"Are they coming here?" 

"That seems like the most obvious thing to do, they don't tend to stay longer than two months wherever they stop, and we're the closest place from Greendale."

"Toni?" Several voices in unison ask, and Toni's answer never falls from her lips.

"I say we send a couple of us, deliver the message that they're not welcome here," she should've seen that coming, Sweet pea being silent is never a good thing.

He's like a brother to her, almost a father to Tommy since Leroy is mostly away at sea, but his temper, that's the one thing that won't change, the only reason why the two of them fight so much. He's still stuck to the old ways.

"We'll do no such thing. Are we clear, Pea?" Toni stands up, a hand pressed to his chest, he just clenches his fist, biting his tongue in the process.

"Might as well prepare them a welcome party already."

"Didn't you hear, Fangs?!" She hardly yells, but all know what it means when it happens, especially Pea, "They aren't causing damage, and sending Serpents out there will only give them a reason to start a war."

He says nothing. And Toni sees it as a sign that he doesn't give a flying fuck to whatever is coming out of her mind.

"I won't put us at risk over your pride."

"This shit almost too easy, Tiny. There's nothing that they want in Greendale, they're gaslighting us into believing they're the good guys!" Pea counters back, and God, Toni hates that he has a point. That was the first thought that pooped, but saying it out loud would create this.

And by this Toni means all of them bickering amongst themselves.

"The war already started!"

"They'll take us down!"

"Peas right for once!"

"Enough!" The glass on her hand went flying against the wall, she hates to do this, but sometimes it's the only way they'll listen. "If they come here we'll be prepared for it, we'll stay sharp, we'll watch over them from dusk to dawn if necessary. Until then we stay put, and if someone has a problem with that you might as well strip that jacket off your back, as we speak."

"Toni..."

"This matter is discussed." She walks away to her office. No one dares to say a thing.

* * *

Two hours later she's sitting at her other office, trying to sort out this mess, she can't find who this gang is, their intentions are a dead end. Toni knows that if she doesn't get anything tonight this matter will eat her alive.

She's typing on her computer when a knock comes, she thinks it's Sweet pea, they never stay mad for long. 

"Hey, Toni," it's Fangs instead.

She barely acknowledges him, too tired and immersed on the computer to do such a thing.

"Fangs, I don't wanna talk about that anymore."

"I know, but there's a reason I was blowing up your phone later," there's a nervousness in his voice that wasn't there before. 

"The gang, and you already said what you had to say."

"I didn't. Their leader, or at least I thinks she is, I mean, I was told she is," sighing Toni gestures with her hands to speed him up, "she has a girl."

"Good for her, I'll make sure to congratulate her for it," she answers dryly. She needs some sleep, she's being an ass for no reason whatsoever.

"From the description, I was given, I have reason to believe it's Cheryl."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any typos.  
> Next chapter arrives soon, it starts with Cheryl coming back home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It only took me a month, yay! Apparently I won't ever stick to a schedule. But the chapters are huge.
> 
> Anyway here's Cheryl seven years later.
> 
> TW: Drug use, violence

_6 years ago_

Pain, that's the first thing Cheryl's senses can register. Pain that radiates throughout her whole body, they didn't miss a single spot, if Cheryl is to look at the medical report that they made she probably find she has more broken bones than ones who aren't, honestly, is a miracle they didn't fly her to a real hospital, maybe they should've, had to, but in this place, Cheryl's another number, one less mouth to feed, so why bother.

She can picture Delilah smirking this exact moment, probably even laughing at the redhead's stupidity. She offered that bandana with good intentions and anybody else would've taken it without thinking twice, Cheryl however, threw it away, discarded somewhere in her cell, a fool's act. And that same fool wandered the next day, outside the safety of her cell, expecting that someone would look out for her, they didn't. Cheryl should've seen it coming, throughout the day she didn't miss the looks she was given, as if they were casing her, and at night when she went to shower she was alone, that never happens. And before Cheryl knew it, she was being punched and kicked to the ground, blow after blow until she passed out, but she's sure that they didn't stop there. Someone ultimately found her, took pity on the pitiful sight she made, naked and bloodied, she was taken here, to the infirmary. How many days have gone by she can't tell, but it's the safest place for her right now, so you won't hear Cheryl complain.

She wonders if this sort of news goes back outside, she was left within an inch of her life. Shouldn't have someone warned Nana Rose of it, in case she didn't make it, and wouldn't Nana Rose tell Toni at once, and if so, wouldn't Toni fly out to see her?

Truth is, no one, besides nurses and guards walk in this room. And it makes her mad. At herself for choosing to put this distance between her and the ones she loves, the same ones she thought loved her back. Most of all, Cheryl's angry at Toni, she keeps waiting for something, even though she asked for nothing a year ago, she had letters and now they're practically inexistent, maybe once a month, if she's lucky.

The only person who gave a damn was Delilah, and Cheryl ignored her, tried to forget all about her, thinking that it was the right thing to do, not wanting to betray Toni and what they had. But it's clear where Toni stands, she's moved on, rightly so. Perhaps it's time for Cheryl to do the same.

* * *

"Well, you look like shit," Cheryl was almost dozing off, the drugs starting to kick in when she heard it. That lisp, it was too hard to forget.

There it was, that damn smirk. If Cheryl was strong enough, she would slap it off her face.

"I don't think you're allowed to be here," Cheryl mumbles, her voice hoarse, lips chapped and throat sore. The consequence of going for days on end without speaking a word.

"Arrest me, already," Delilah jokes, getting closer, strutting around, touching on some medical stuff without a single care in the world, as if they weren't in prison. Cheryl wonders what kind of power she holds in here.

Maybe the wisest thing to do is take her hand and accept the help she was given. That quickly is dismissed.

"I know that look," Cheryl says, sounding like her old self, it was that smug look on Delilah's face that brought it back.

Cheryl's tired of being a broken thing. Relying on people to rescue as if she was the princess in distress, she has to drop it, this isn't the place for fairy tales.

"What look?"

"I told you so, it's written all over your face."

"Well, I did, didn't I?" And when Delilah sits next to her, Cheryl doesn't miss the bruised knuckles, and she knows exactly why they're that way. Something tells her that who did this to her won't be doing much for the next weeks.

"Your hands..." Her voice barely a whisper, confused at the fact that the girl doesn't seem to give up. She resembles so much like Toni that it's even painful to admit.

"I have a soft spot for underdogs, deal with it."

"I don't need your help, I'm just fine on my own," a lie, it's easy to slip from her lips. Rehearsed for nights on end.

But the laugh Cheryl receives is proof that Delilah sees right through that front that was so easy to put up back in Riverdale, "since it's getting late, Cheryl, how about a bedtime story, huh?"

"I'm too old for those."

"Nah, for this one, you're not."

"I'm all ears then, it's not like I have any other place to be."

"It's about a girl, she was small for her age, barely spoke a word cause if she did then they would all laugh at her face, mimicking her," _the lisp_ , perhaps it was true after all what she said days ago, the look on Delilah's face confirms it, "she used to beg her mom to stay home from school, but dad wasn't around and mom had to work a lot and the place they lived wasn't safe. So off to school she went every morning, and by the time she would come back the bruises that had hurt the day before were nothing compared to the new ones she had gotten during lunchtime," and looking at her, at the tears that stream down her face, Cheryl doesn't think she's ever hated herself more than what she does now.

She was one of them, a bully. She knows that words can be even more painful, that they break people beyond repair. What if Delilah's life had been different? Would've she gotten herself here?

"I'm so sorry," as small as it is, it's all Cheryl can offer. But apologies won't make amends, nothing will. Not even all the good deeds Cheryl did back home could ever make up for all that shit she put others through.

Delilah doesn't seem to care about it either, shaking her head, smiling to hide that pain, "don't be, I'm not. And ya know, highschool ended and I realized that my bullies were nothing compared to the monsters of the real world."

"What did you do? How does that girl came to be the one in front of me?"

"Ah, you're making progress, I see," Delilah bumps her nose, and Cheryl can't help but smile, be at ease, despite how dark the mood is, "eventually, after going through a whole lot of shit I realized I had no one, papa was gone, mama didn't care, friends were few and not good. So, what do you do in a situation like that?" She asks but doesn't wait for a reply, "you fight. You fight for you because the world won't, you either are the hammer or the nail, Cheryl Blossom."

And no words have ever made this much sense. And here she was, thinking that Delilah would come to rescue her, the same way she thought Toni would someday as she did for so many. Growing up as she did should've taught her that much, but no. Cheryl always had someone to hide behind, because she was a bully and that's what they do. 

"I once thought I was the hammer," Cheryl speaks, breaking the silence both had chosen to use as a shield, already showing too much vulnerability for one night only, "back home I was feared, popular, it took me being here to realize I was nothing more than a name, an hbic shirt, and later on my girlfriend's reputation."

"Better learn fast then, because unfortunately for you, Cheryl, you've landed on the one place all the bad monsters go."

* * *

_3 years ago_

They should invest in better books, Cheryl thinks to herself as she goes through the copy of The Alchemist - that has been here for God knows how long - for probably the tenth time already, in the last four years or so, she has stopped counting the days, accepting that this will be home for quite some time. A lot has changed, Cheryl doesn't read as much, it's been years since she set foot in the library, choosing to spend her days with Delilah and her squad, old decks of cards, tattoo guns, and stories of past lives make up for most of her days, what more can a girl ask for?

The things power and money can't buy. But these futile luxuries that Cheryl knows she is blessed to have, given how she started when she first arrived are enough to soothe the pain that still haunts her most days. 

The people around her helped too, Delilah's friends that now are Cheryl's little dysfunctional family, and the girl herself. 

They're in the courtyard, most working out, Cheryl doesn't like it much, so, on times like this she buries her head on her books - one book only really - cause she knows she has changed completely but there's still a part of her that doesn't want to lose the person she first was. She doesn't pay attention to the words, just what that action reminds her of, the girl in the library. 

It was just another uneventful day, or she thought until she heard it, "look who it is," here they come again, some girl from the same gang that swore to kill Cheryl years ago. These visits aren't unusual, "not all high and mighty without that bitch of yours aren't you, Blossom?"

She's referring to Delilah who got herself back in solitary, this time she was caught smuggling cigarettes. It's a fact that Delilah likes to keep the peace, occasionally, and with her by Cheryl's side, all these threats end with just a single glare. However, it doesn't mean Cheryl's completely powerless, she just prefers to stay quiet to keep her sentence short.

Since Delilah isn't here, and the rest remains still, knowing too damn well that Cheryl doesn't need backup, the other woman continues, "we haven't forgotten who you are. A filthy rat, I bet you're the one who sent Lilah to solitary. Got tired of being someone's pet."

"I would love to hear more about that, but I'm kinda busy at the moment," Cheryl gestures towards her book, playing dumb, setting a trap, and the only rat in here seems to bite it almost immediately.

"They rammed that stick up so far your ass, I'm surprised you can even talk."

She can, but she chooses not to, taking advantage that there are almost no guards in sight and that the ones that are here can easily turn a blind eye with the right cut of the pie.

"Exactly, you're nothing but a puppet, a litt-" and before she could even finish that sentence, the bitch had another thing coming. 

Cheryl Blossom got up, fast as a bullet, grabbed her by the collar of the jumpsuit, shoved her body against the wall, knife in hand, pressed to the soft and fragile skin of her neck, so close she that she swore she could feel her veins pumping through the handle of the blade. Just a little more and Cheryl would break through the skin, but she'd rather toy with that idea, fuel the fear a little bit longer. She's no nail, not anymore.

"You talk too much you know that?" Cheryl whispers, the hiss of a snake, and the look of fear she receives, the pleading in someone else's eyes, it's the most powerful drug Cheryl has ever tasted, "I got nothing waiting for me back home, and I'm already in here for murder, so don't think I'll stop for a second before shoving this knife right through your eyes until it hits the back of your skull."

* * *

When the courtyard is back to normal, commotion forgotten, book back in hand, adrenaline long worn off, she realizes what she almost did, and how good it felt. Immediately the book falls to the ground, the sound engulfed by Cheryl's heartbeat, thumping against her ribcage. Is this who's she's about to become? Or has she reached the point of no return without having realized it?

* * *

_Present_

Another night, another roadside sleazy bar. The same drinks, the same music, the smell of whiskey and cigarettes that clings to these walls like a bad tattoo. If someone had told Cheryl Blossom, that this would be the life, she would've rightly so punched the bastard on the face. This wasn't Cheryl Blossom's way, no, you wouldn't find her in a place like this, mingling with such crowds, even back then with the gang she and Toni had, it was never like this.

Flash forward seven years, and these cheap bars, these bikers, and truckers are probably the only stable thing in Cheryl's life.

She thought that prison was bad, the place that broke her, turned her into something else, but she was wrong. The tricky part, the one that fucks you up is here, the real world. Seven years went by, the clock kept moving, and Cheryl was incarcerated in a prison of time itself, when she got out it was a shock, to say the least. Everything and everyone she had ever known was gone, something as simple as laying in a bed felt foreign, sitting in a bathtub by herself without so many prying eyes was odd, turning on the TV after so long not having none was an experience Cheryl never thought she would have to go through. 

It was rough. Those first weeks after getting out Cheryl had nothing. No money, no friends, the gang was gone and so was Delilah who had been released a year before. Cheryl got on the first bus leaving prison, found a cheap motel on the outskirts of town, and stayed there for two weeks. Two weeks where she laid in bed hoping that God would take mercy on her, or that she managed the courage to take her own life. For two weeks she stared into the mirror, unable to recognize the person she was facing, it went beyond a hairstyle, the several tattoos marking her arms, it was her eyes. Something about them was gone, and Cheryl knew too well that she would never get it back. 

That innocence that she thought was gone when her mother took Heather away, or her father shot Jason in a basement, remained hidden in her, and all it took was a night at Pop's with Toni Topaz for it to come back. She wasn't broken, Toni made her realize that much, she knew how to love, she needed the right person to love, and Toni was all that. That lighthouse in the dark sea that Riverdale had become for her, a lullaby after a nightmare in the cold of winter. Toni kept her sane in the nights where she thought she was going to die in South Carolina, and then Toni left. And with her everything good in Cheryl, replacing it with this cold thing, who loves pain more than anything, who thrives on it, craves it even. 

Those are the days Cheryl's glad are gone because if that place had managed to teach her anything, is that she can only rely on herself. It didn't take long for Cheryl to get out of that darkness she had settled on, taking a shower, meeting some random girl in a bar, she swore that better days were ahead of her. And finally, she found Delilah's number, that same night her friend came to pick her up, they had sex in a bathroom somewhere in the middle of nowhere, and by morning Cheryl was meeting Delilah's crew outside of prison, some familiar faces and others who now are old news.

And that's been her life for the past year. Riding throughout the country, stopping here and there so Delilah and a few of her closest members can do business, one that Cheryl wants no part of, prison isn't a place she wishes to go back. But for most of it, they're just drinking and gambling their nights away, given that most of them come from the same place, all they want is a life without any complications, making up for lost time, Cheryl included.

But tonight she has had her fair share of whiskey shots and flirty talks, it's time to leave, hoping the night ends where she wants it to.

"Ready to call it a night boss?", Beckett says, one of the oldest members of their growing gang, when he notices Cheryl getting up from her stool. Hand already on yet another shot glass.

One that Cheryl quickly takes away from his hand, dowing the bitter liquid in seconds, barely flinching, "as should the lot of you, we got a big day tomorrow, the last thing I need is to stop in the middle of the road so one of you can be sick."

And soon they'll do so, at this point, Cheryl's their leader in all but name.

* * *

"Hey, good looking," Delilah greets as Cheryl opens the door to the motel room.

Delilah chose to call it a night sooner than what she normally does, saying she had something to do.

She's laying in bed, wearing nothing but her underwear, a black lace bra, and matching tong, nearly see trough, she was expecting Cheryl tonight. Arms, legs (for days), and chest covered in tattoos, her body toned, drips of water still on her skin, her hair messy from the shower, she's out here looking like a fucking goddess. Instinctively, Cheryl licks her lips and judging by Delilah's smirk, it didn't go unnoticed.

"Two in the morning and your sober. Isn't that a lovely surprise," Cheryl says - trying to disguise how flushed she feels - sitting on a chair nearby, taking off her combat boots, heels aren't much of an option these days.

"You flatter me, baby girl."

Cheryl rolls her eyes. Still busy with her boots, honestly, she could've been done by now if she wished.

"Strip," Delilah demands, seductively as ever, getting on her knees, moving towards the edge of the bed "you got too many clothes on."

"I always have too many clothes for your taste."

"Then perhaps you should consider that I might be right."

Cheryl doesn't respond, but does get up and starts to take off her clothes. She makes no attempt at putting on a show, no need for that. 

And while she's at it, from the corner of her eyes, she sees Delilah snorting a line of coke. A sight Cheryl has grown familiar with over the years they've known each other.

"That shit is going to kill you one of these days."

"Funny isn't it? All the finer things in life, drugs, liquor, women," she makes sure to put extra emphasis on the last one, not breaking eye contact with Cheryl, "tend to be the deadliest ones."

Deadly, Cheryl likes the sound of that. The power she holds, it's truly addictive. We all have our vices.

Cheryl, who's nothing but generous, quickly joins Delilah in bed. Immediately kissing her, instinct at this point, but she's stopped, Delilah placing a hand on her chest, "are you still dead set on Riverdale?" 

She's been making that question a lot lately, it would be endearing if it wasn't so fucking irritating.

"You know where I stand, why, getting afraid, are we?" Cheryl decides to laugh it off, and Delilah takes the hint that it's best if she does the same. Leave that subject for another night, even though tonight's the last.

"Oh, an army of Serpents might be awaiting me."

"I was a Serpent once, too."

"Exactly my point," there was no malice in the way she spoke, Delilah better than anyone knows who Cheryl was, and saw who she became, it's teasing, a game that Cheryl always gives in.

Just like now, grabbing the girl by her hips, Cheryl manages to roll them over so she's on top, nothing but her bra and thong, skin to skin apart from it, dangerously close like a prey patiently waiting for her meal. Delilah knows it too, her chest rises in anticipation, her breaths shallow, semi-closed eyes dark with lust, and just like that, "ahh," she whimpers in pain. Tongue grazing over her bottom lip, bloodied, while Cheryl smirks enjoying the tangy metallic taste coming in contact with her own.

"Did that change your mind?"

"You Cheryl Blossom are the baddest of all bitches," it's Delilah's turn to kiss her, God, those kisses of her have the power of making Cheryl fall on her knees. 

No matter how many times it happens, no matter the circumstances, it's electric. Their bodies know each other too well, years and years of teasing, whispered promises in the dark that one night came alive, and the girl who thought once was dead was brought back. It's not love, neither Cheryl nor Delilah are capable of feeling such a thing. Cheryl's heart belongs to another, and she's gone, turned into another woman. And Delilah, Delilah's only love is the one that now courses through her body, that powdered courage, her lover, and one day her killer. That's why they work so well, both are broken things, they don't fit, cracked beyond repair, it'll never be love, only lust. 

Just like a drug, they keep coming back to it, because one hit will never be enough, and even if they keep up with this pretense or whatever it is, for all eternity deep down they won't ever feel complete, still, it doesn't stop them from trying.

"Do you plan on kissing me all night long, or are you gonna fuck me?" Delilah's request is one that Cheryl's more than happy to oblige.

The short-haired girl's hands grip Cheryl's ass, exploring a body she knows by heart at this point, but in here, in this neon motel room, Cheryl calls the shots. She grabs Delilah's hands, slowly bringing them up to her head, and with just a look the girl underneath her knows that's where they'll stay for the rest of the night.

"Beg me," Cheryl rasps against her neck, leaving bite marks while she's at it. Only this way she feels in charge.

"Never, you should know this already."

Delilah pushes Cheryl like no other. The only person who doesn't back down. 

"Wrong answer," Cheryl then grabs a belt that just laid there on the bed stand, no doubt its purpose already planned out for the night, and ties Delilah's hands, to a point where she knows the bruises will linger for days. For all to see who she is, what she's capable of.

"Please fuck me, Cheryl Bombshell," only once she had mentioned that name to Delilah, just the mere sound of it brought shivers down her spine, memories flashing through her head. In no time goosebumps were rising in her skin. Cheryl closed her eyes, inhaling Delilah's scent, cigarettes, and a faint whiff of vanilla. Her hands caressing her breasts, still covered by a black lace bra, yet, Cheryl could feel her nipples stiffen under her touch and it made her feel powerful to know that a woman like Delilah, a leader for so many, feared by all, could succumb so easy at her. Moaning and writhing under her.

"Take it off, both of them... please" Cheryl won't make her wait, just this time, quickly she takes off her bra, only the faint moonlight and neon signs illuminating her skin, red silhouettes dancing in the night. She then takes of Delilah's bra, throwing it to the floor. Pressing against her body, now both naked, their nipples rub against one another, Cheryl has to take a deep breath, the heat and ache between her legs almost agonizing at this point.

 _Fuck it_ , she says to herself. She can't do this anymore, the liquor working its effects on her, Delilah's sounds, her slightest of moves drove Cheryl to the edge. It's not often that it slips, but on some nights Cheryl lets go of control and follows her most primal instincts.

With one final bruising kiss to Delilah's lips, messy and hungry, leaving her gasping and wanting more, Cheryl starts descending her body, not giving it as much care as she often does. She still makes sure to leave lipstick marks all over Delilah's toned abdomen. Sliding one hand under her lace thong, the warmth and wetness she found in that hidden paradise were enough to send jolts of electricity straight to Cheryl's core, she couldn't even stifle her own moans. Delilah was drenched, her juices leaking through the fabric, on her thighs. Looking up, those eyes filled with desire, a promise of what the night would still bring did it for Cheryl, without thinking twice, she tore the piece of clothing with her own hands, the sound echoing through the room, in perfect synchrony with Delilah's gasp.

"Finally, I thought you were gonna fall asleep down there for a second," Delilah pants, out of breath and Cheryl hasn't even properly touched her yet.

"I might," the redhead teases, enjoying how Delilah's whole body tenses, flashbacks coming back to her, nights where Cheryl got this far only to leave her by herself.

"Not tonight you won't. I know you too well." 

No, she wouldn't, hard and fast, Cheryl grabbed Delilah's legs - forgetting about the pain she might be causing - pushing them apart, the scent almost intoxicating at this point, and without any more preamble, no grace or teasing, she lowered her head begging for a taste of that sweet nectar. Not before sinking her teeth on the other girl's tights, making her groan in pain and pleasure. Delilah's with her tonight, but that isn't always the case, and Cheryl might even share her, but she'll make sure all others know who was there before.

* * *

"Are you staying the night?" Delilah asks, sitting against the headboard, turning slightly to the side, grabbing a small glass tray from the bed stand, snorting another line. Cheryl has to roll her eyes at that. But she knows she can't say much about it, after what just transpired here, no doubt Delilah's in excruciating pain. Caused by an accident years ago.

Cheryl's currently trying to regain control of her limbs which feel like jelly, ( as soon as Delilah came down from her orgasm and was out of her bounds she was picking Cheryl up and pushing her against the wall ) so she could get dressed and head to her room, like she does most nights when they do this. 

They all cope differently. Cheryl needs to be in control at all times, and Delilah needs to be high enough, so both of them can forget all the shit they've seen not only in prison but throughout their lives. They're so messed up, and now Cheryl is getting ready to go back home, the place that started it all. A brilliant idea no doubt.

As if she could sense it, even as high as she is, Delilah spoke, "you can always turn around. There's more to the world than Riverdale."

She knows it all, from Jason to Toni and everything in between. The sex is great, but this, their bond is why Cheryl couldn't think of a life without her in it. 

"I have to do this," she replies firmly. Leaving no room for discussion, abruptly getting up, walking away without looking back, only when the door closes behind her does Cheryl allows herself to cry.

* * *

The sun's setting, they should've reached Riverdale by now but with this crew, it just wasn't going to happen. A few hours ago they stopped for gas, but gas quickly turns into getting food and then a few drinks, and before they know it they're all playing pool with the locals. Any other day Cheryl would be pissed but tonight she's grateful for their ways, she knows Riverdale is inevitable, but that doesn't stop her from buying as much time as she can.

She's currently outside, wanting to be alone with her thoughts, leaning against her bike smoking a cigarette as she does so, holding a sheet of paper in her hand. 

Back in prison letters were everything for inmates, sometimes even more important than their freedom, it was their only source of information from the outside, words written by their loved ones, hoping it would make the years seem smaller than what they were, and yet letters were also one of the things they feared the most. Over the years Cheryl has witnessed some of the toughest people in there break into sobs with just a few passages, calling for their mom as if they were nothing but children. Maybe that's why she refused to open all the ones she received.

Until that day that a letter came for her. It had been over five years since Toni had written anything, over five years since anyone has bothered to do it. Cheryl doesn't know what came over her to open it, but she did. In all those years Toni had been silent and now there was a letter with her name on it, Cheryl thought that perhaps that would be the day she would hear Nana Rose died, or Pop's and it felt selfish to simply ignore that truth. Opening the letter also tore open her heart.

> _Dear Chery,_
> 
> _I know this must feel sudden, and probably unwelcomed, and I understand that, I deserve that. I never stopped thinking about you, never will, the reason I haven't written in so long comes from the simple fact that I took your silence as a sign to stop, don't think I did it on purpose, I just thought that was what you wanted, and still want._
> 
> _Anyway, I feel like I have to write this letter to you now because it is the right thing to do. I'm aware of your sacrifice, I'm forever grateful for what you've done so I could have all I have now. I'm sorry to say, but I never went to Highsmith College, life got on the way, but I did graduate, I have a good job, and leadership of the Serpents, I have a good life. I don't know if this will serve as comfort or hurt you even further, but it's the truth, and I thank you every day for it._
> 
> _I have to stop stalling, so here it goes. Cheryl, I'm pregnant._
> 
> _No, I am no longer with the father of my baby, we stay friends but it was never love, just an illusion we both liked to believe. This pregnancy was an accident, to be honest, I just found out yesterday, you're the first person who'll probably hear about it. But I don't regret it one bit, it feels odd but I already love this baby with everything I have, all I am. It feels as if my life is no longer mine, but not in a scary way, it's new but beautiful and even though it's the wrong person and the wrong time, I won't ever regret it._
> 
> _I don't know if you'll get this, they don't tell me much, are you still in South Carolina? If so how long do you still have left?_
> 
> _I wish I would get answers to these questions but I'm prepared for your silence once more, I understand that it's a lot to take in._
> 
> _I hope, I pray that this isn't our last interaction, the same way I pray that one day you'll find your way back home._
> 
> _And whether is right or wrong, my kid will know who you are even if they might never get to see you, I promise that one day I'll tell them all about that angel that gave me the biggest proof of love there is, that showed more bravery in those two minutes that day the cops came than I ever could in my whole life, or ever will._
> 
> _And even though life took us on different paths, I'll always love you, Cher._
> 
> _Yours truly, TT._

Cheryl lied. By now she can't seem to stop, she kept saying to herself that the reason why it was so hard to get back into the world was the fact that it had changed, when in truth was learning months before her release that she would have to go through it all on her own, without Toni by her side. A small part of her was more than ready to get on a bus or several back home, but what for?

Cheryl's damaged goods, she has too much baggage, and it's not fair to bring that shit into Toni's seemingly perfect life, and her son's. That part hurt the most, knowing that Toni was a mother and that Cheryl wasn't like they had talked so many times before. They were going to start a family, move away from Thistlehouse, maybe even Riverdale, children and so many more dreams that never came to fruition. Toni said Cheryl gave her the biggest love proof there is, and yet that same love tore them apart.

With one final look at that letter, Cheryl burns it down, knowing all the words by heart, reciting them every night before nightmares consume her. And here she is, saying life's good, one look at that sheet of paper, and reality sinks in. Years of her life trapped and the remaining just stuck on a road leading nowhere.

And finally walking away from her spot, suddenly feeling too sober to be dealing with this, Cheryl notices Emily just standing there, unsure of what to do, no doubt overwhelmed by all this, Cheryl can't help but see so much of her in that young girl's features, those eyes filled with uncertainty, and yet so much relief that she's here with them, and in times like this, Cheryl can't find it in herself to regret her choice.

Emily's the reason why Cheryl's going back to Riverdale. A few months ago, Delilah got a call from an old friend begging them to go to Greendale claiming his baby sister had gotten herself in trouble. When they arrived it was clear what the trouble was, a sixteen-year-old girl pregnant trapped in an abusive relationship. The boyfriend soon stopped being a problem, for the meantime at least, but it was more than clear that Greendale wasn't safe, and they most definitely can't go back to New York after all the shit that happened there. 

Staring at the map the options were few, but there was Riverdale and if the reports are to be believed, the town that was once home to serial killers and drug lords had now become a little paradise hidden to most. Most but not Cheryl, who knew that Emily would be able to get the care she needed being so heavily pregnant and that the Serpents weren't the Ghoulies, no harm would come to them. But there was Toni and all others, and she knows what they'll think of her, cause she has to live with that every single day of her life.

But these people have been by her side for a long time, some protected her in jail, she owned them this. And she's a leader, her needs fall in the background.

She just prays that she's strong enough to survive the coming months and that she doesn't cross paths with Toni. God knows that would be the death of her.

* * *

The moment that bell rings, Cheryl's taken back in time. Seeing the town's sign didn't affect her, riding her bike through her once home barely made her feel a thing, but Pop's...

It was like going back in time as if the past seven years never happened, everything looked the same, the booths, the memorabilia on the walls, the jukebox that kept playing the same tunes since opening day, songs that comforted every single soul in this town at least once. It smelled like home, strawberry milkshakes and greasy burgers that would never get boring. Looking around Cheryl could see herself as little girl sharing a shake with JJ, smiling into each other knowing that it was them against the world, that in this little diner mother's words couldn't get in, she could see Jughead with Betty sitting across Archie and Veronica, without a clue that those were the best days of their lives, that they happy and had no idea of it, so many moments taken for granted. And then on the counter sat two girls, about to embark on a journey that neither will forget, but the noise brings her back to the present, and she's reminded that the journey ended long ago, too soon.

She feels a hand reaching for hers, Delilah tries to reassure her, yet she doesn't say a thing. She knows Cheryl's in pain, that the scars are being thorned open, and that's why she's quiet because it's all one can do in this kind of situation, all she can do is be there and wait for the moment Cheryl decides it's time to speak.

"Goodnight, ladies, can I get you some coffee? Something to eat?" A girl about her age asks, working behind the counter. She knows that face, has seen the pictures Pop's used to show them of his granddaughter, and Cheryl's afraid to ask why she's here and not him.

She doubts any words would even come out. Delilah must've said something because she's gently being pushed to a booth nearby.

"Are you okay, for real?"

Cheryl doesn't hide it, shakes her head, letting sobs take over her, and at once, Delilah is at her side, allowing Cheryl to bury her head in her shoulder, not caring about all the looks they're receiving.

"Shh," Delilah looks lost, her first time seeing Cheryl like this, "we...we can leave right now, there's still time. We'll figure out something about Em."

"No."

They don't say much, outside the others must be wonder what is taking so long, but Cheryl's so drained that she has half of mind of just sleeping here. The memories haunting her, and yet all the best ones are here, and she just wants to cling to it a bit longer.

"Shit," Delilah suddenly says, leaving Cheryl's side so quickly that the redhead almost loses her balance. The bell had rung, signaling someone had come in as it had done for the last hour or so, but this time these customers weren't here for a late-night snack.

She would know those two anywhere. Brothers in all but blood, they look so grown up now, hard to think that once they were boys causing havoc in the Southside alongside a girl who looked tiny beside, earning her nickname. 

Behind them, at least eight other Serpents, Delilah standing her ground, "evening boys, something wrong?"

"You sure took your sweet time getting here," Pea replies, taking on the role of leader, Fangs by his side ready for anything. Under any other circumstances, Cheryl would do the same for her partner, tonight, she tries to make herself invisible.

"All of yous against us two? That way is easy to look tough."

"And those bikes outside? Tourists?"

"Who them? Those are some of the craziest motherfuckers you'll ever have the pleasure of getting to know," she threatens him and as if they could hear her voice or her thoughts, the rumble of bikes gets louder, "and trust me, big boy, they're dying to meet you, all of yous." The plan has backfired, they're not welcomed here and this talk of Delilah's will make it worst.

"Guys, I swear to God I'll call Keller!" Tabitha, or at least in the name tag, says loud and clear. Leaving no room for doubts, and the Serpents might leave here with a pat on their back, but the same can't be said for Cheryl and hers. And she doesn't want to be dragged into a cop car again, not in here.

"I mean it! Take it outside, away from my parking lot preferentially," she continues.

"There'll be no need for it, Tabitha, I got it from here."

From where she was standing, the moon seemed to bathe her in its light. Making those pink braids shine brighter than all these neon signs. She looked the same since Cheryl last saw her, but there's none of that magic her eyes used to hold, it's blank now, embers fading away in the wind, losing its glow telling Cheryl that the years have not been kind to her. And then it happened, they locked eyes and everything and everyone was forgotten, Toni stood there frozen in shock, her mind desperately trying to make sense of who she was seeing, not a single trace of Cheryl in sight. Pale skin had been replaced with tattoos, those long auburn locks above her shoulders, and her lips naked of any color.

And one question remained, does she still feel the same now that she has seen Cheryl?

Did the words in that letter are still true?

It mattered little right now, for this was a sight Cheryl would gladly die looking at, but it's all Cheryl will be able to do.

 _You'll ruin her_ , that voice in her head whispers.

It's torture, having her so close, look at her and not being able to caress that face, feel those lips on hers once more, but what right does she have?

When she so gladly gave her up? 

"Meet me tomorrow at the Whyte Wyrm," she speaks again, "I trust your girlfriend knows the place."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoying. Let me know what you think. And thank you for taking the time to read it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like this version of what might happen in a few weeks.
> 
> I honestly don't believe that's the direction the show is heading but it was too good of an idea not to write it.


End file.
